This time was different.  This was a scheduled c-section because my previous labor history and delivery.  I had to be at the hospital at 6 for an 8 am procedure, only to find out when we got there we weren’t supposed to go in until 830 am.  It’s a completely different thing when you know you’re going to have the surgery.  You have time to think about it.  I didn’t have time to think about it or be scared with Caleb.  I was just so glad labor was going to be over that I didn’t really pay attention.  I had an epidural with Caleb so the stuff was already in place to administer the drugs necessary for the c-section.  I didn’t have that this time, and when you come in off the street you get a spinal tap.  The very words make me want to vomit.  I can’t even touch my spine without cringing now.  It’s as horrible as it sounds.

Here’s what happens: You sit up on the operating table and hunch over your big belly.  Then, they give you local anesthetic with a needle, “lots of burning right now” and then take a big needle and administer morphine.  It takes a couple minutes for the stuff to start working and you have to get from hunched over to laying on your back before it does.  Not as easy as it sounds when you start getting woozy.  I get laid down and then my left side starts to go numb and I’m freaking out because it’s only one side!  Then the doctors come in, they don’t even pay attention to you and just go about their business tilting the table and moving you all around. Thank goodness I had a great anesthesiologist, let’s call him Dr. Reassurance.  He talked me through the whole thing because I was freaking out.  Finally both legs are numb and I have none of the teeth chattering I had before so I’m relieved.  Only now it’s getting really really hard to breathe.  I feel really weird and I honestly think something is wrong because it’s so different from my other surgery.  I say to the doctor, “It’s really hard to breathe” and he says “I know what you’re feeling, really nauseous right? It will pass.” Before I can say no not nauseous, it’s over and I feel fine.

Which is good because now I can focus on the surgery right?  Blah, seeing my doctor lean over the drape with my blood splattered places on her mask, not so fun.  She tells me there’s lots of scarring from the other c-section and she’ll have to go in at a different place.  Not the best news.  Then it feels like someone is sitting on my sternum and stomach.  Dr. Reassurance keeps saying “baby is almost out” or “a couple more minutes and we’ll see baby”.  Chris was there the whole time but I think he was afraid to talk because he might pass out.  Finally, I feel the pressure is gone and there is a significant amount of weight lifted off of me.  I know the baby is out but there is no noise.  I’m thinking: “cry cry cry”, and she does.  And then there were tears.  Dr. Reassurance is congratulating us while still giving me the play by play of what’s going on.

The recovery from this surgery was not as “easy” as I remember the other one being.  The morphine had a side effect-itchiness.  I felt like my face was crawling with bugs.  They gave me an antihistamine but it just made me sleepy.  I was on a strong anti-inflammatory for 36 hours and then switched to big ass Motrin’s.  I’m scared to death of Percocet so I didn’t take them.  Last time the pain wasn’t so bad but this time I was counting the minutes until my next dose for the first day.  I remember laying in the hospital bed, unable to move by myself or even get into a comfortable position to sleep and saying to Chris: “I’m not sure I can do this again.”

I have to wait 24 months between surgeries so I’d be 31.  Recovery would probably be even harder next time.  I asked my doctor if there was higher risk for my next pregnancy and she said: “No, but your delivery would be riskier.”  Der, come on.  I guess in the end I’m glad we have one of each, there’s no pressure to try for another baby, but I always wanted four kids.  It’s kind of sad having that option limited or gone because of the surgeries.

When I really sit and think about it, I’m afraid for my kids in the same ways.  This is a hard world to grow up in, peer pressure, bullying, sexual predators, social networking, status symbols, self-esteem problems, drugs, alcohol, and more.  Can I really say that it’s harder for her because she’s a girl and not as hard for him because he’s a boy?  As much as I didn’t want to hear it at any point in my life there is a double standard when it comes to boys and girls.  I feel it as an innate part of being a parent and I’m going to try to fight against that as hard as I can.  (The fact that he is three and she is weeks old may have something to do with that.)  I hope that we can teach them both to have great faith in themselves, their abilities, and in others.  I have a feeling we’re going to be the ones who learn the most.

She’s already so much different than he was at the same age.  Logically it makes sense that each baby is different but until you have another and can really experience it you don’t think it’s true.  I figured babies were babies, they eat, they sleep, they pee and poop.  I didn’t realize there were different ways to do those things.  Camille doesn’t like to sleep by herself.  In the first weeks it was about getting as much sleep as I could so she slept in bed with me but then it became clearer that the sleep I was getting wasn’t very restful with her next to me.  I transitioned her to the bassinet in our room which wasn’t easy and then when she seemed to be doing really well there, we transitioned her to the crib.  She’s been sleeping in the crib at night for about a week and that is going really well, naps are another story.  But, Caleb was 5 weeks old when he first slept 5 hours straight in his crib.  Camille is 11 weeks and just managing that.  I see her continuing to progress so I’m happy about that, I just wish I wasn’t so exhausted all the time!  I know this will pass soon enough, and I’m trying to focus on enjoying her as a baby no matter what the differences or difficulties.  She’ll be grown too soon, like Caleb and I’m likely not going to have another.  (More on that later.)  I guess that means there’s just one thing to say: Stop whining.

Meet Camille Madera Mann:

Isn’t she cute?  She’s 10 weeks old and growing like a weed.  She’s a completely different baby than Caleb was but we’re learning all about each other and finding a rhythm.  Life with two kids is hectic but completely worth it. I think I have a post in mind on the topic of two kids but for now I just wanted to re-introduce myself.  Hi!

You have to give Sharks GM Doug Wilson credit for completely blowing things up this summer. Even if they were thoroughly embarrassed in the playoffs, this is still the President’s Trophy winner. They already had a ridiculous level of offensive talent and depth and then they added 50 goal scorer Dany Heatley. Thornton setting up Heatley and Boyle on the powerplay? Jesus. Aside from the Heatley blockbuster, Wilson only made minor moves for role players. Nabakov seems to be on the downside of his career and their defense isn’t exactly lockdown, but it shouldn’t matter with the unbelievable group of veteran and up-and-coming scorers. Playing in the easiest division, they should be able to cruise through the regular season again.

This is the season for Calgary to show that they are still legitimate contenders with Iginla and Kiprusoff. Brent Sutter is a better coach than Mike Keenan, as he continually had the Devils playing better than they were. Now with Jay Bouwmeester, Dion Phaneuf can try to get back to worrying about his defensive play, which fans have started to negatively notice. They should benefit from Olli Jokinen playing for a contract, which should help to soften the loss of Mike Cammalleri. Kiprusoff has progressively looked worse over the past few years, so they will need Phaneuf, Bouwmeester and Reegher to help him out. I think they’ll disproportionately benefit from the Olympics, since they threw a major wrench into Vancouver’s schedule.

I’m going with Detroit in the Central, simply because Chicago won’t have Hossa until at least December. They lost major scoring from Hossa and some secondary scoring in Mikael Samuelsson and Jiri Hudler, but it will simply allow new prospects, like Justin Abdelkater and Ville Leino, to step in. Their defense has some question marks *cough, Brad Stuart, cough* and Chris Osgood is most crapped-on Stanley Cup winning goalie ever (side-note: why do “technically proficient” butterfly goalies get a free pass for giving up tons of soft goals, but any “unorthodox” goalie like an Osgood or Tim Thomas is perpetually deemed an illegitimate starter?) Thy just have too much experience, too much depth and too much unbelievable talent on their top D pair and top line.

There’s just too much crap surrounding Chicago heading into the season to feel good about them running away with a tough division. As much as I crap on Hossa, he is an elite scorer coming to team full of young, rapidly improving offensive stars. My concern is that after shoulder surgery, a sniper will need time to find his shot again, so it could be January before he is scoring at his normal clip. After the gaffe in tendering offer to their RFA’s, there might be some hostility towards the organization from this group of six (Versteeg, Brouwer, Barker, Fraser, Eager and Johnson), which may result in a drop in their game. After battling injuries and losing his job in the playoffs, it’s a little scary to think that they are going to ride Cristobal Huet as their goalie, with no legitimate backup behind him. If the offense is playing at its best, it will take a lot of the pressure off him though.

As I mentioned above, the Canucks were pretty thoroughly screwed by the Olympics being held in Vancouver. Their schedule puts them on a ridiculous 14 game road trip in the middle of the season. Plus, Luongo will likely play significantly for Team Canada. They bolstered their defense with Christian Ehrhoff and Matthieu Schneider, which can’t hurt when Andrew Raycroft is your backup and your starter will need extra time off. I think they need a strong start, so they can try to pull-back for that middle portion from late January until early March. Depending on how they come out of that stretch, they could then make a strong push in the playoffs. I like their group of forwards – the Sedins, Shirokov, Kessler and Burrows – and they are likely one more top 6 player away from being a serious contender.

I absolutely love the Blues and for some reason, a lot of people have them missing the playoffs. They had absolutely no scoring from the blue-line last year, a shit ton of injuries and still made the playoffs. Now you add back Erik Johnson, Eric Brewer, Andy McDonald and Paul Kariya (and Chris Mason opens the season as the starter, skipping over the whole Manny LeGace era) and this team should be poised for improvement. How Andy Murray didn’t win the Adams Trophy remains a complete mystery to me. Add in a year of growth and experience for T.J. Oshie, David Perron and Patrick Berglund and this team looks like a force, even if they play in the ridiculously deep Central.

And sticking with the Central, I am enthralled with the Blue Jackets too. More than anything else, this team gets an edge because of Ken Hitchcock’s great defensive system. Short of injuries to one of their major players – like Nash or Mason – they should be able to eke into one of these final three spots. While most goalies experience a drop-off in their second season, I think Hitchcock’s system is perfect to allow a young goalie develop confidence. I loved the pick-up of Antoine Vermette at last year’s trade deadline and he looked great centering Nash and Huselias. Keep an eye on Nikita Filatov as a Calder Trophy candidate. If they can improve their abysmal powerplay, they could be a scary team in the playoffs.

At times last year, it looked like the Kings were starting to come together, especially late in the season. Jonathan Quick looked solid in net. Drew Doughty and Jack Johnson looked good on the blue-line. Anze Kopitar didn’t take the next step to stardom, but is a quality talent along with Dustin Brown. They overpaid for Rob Scuderi and took on Ryan Smyth’s abysmal contract, which should add some veteran grit. Surprisingly, given years of high draft picks, they are still a forward away from being able to get to the playoffs. If they add someone, I think they’re a lock, otherwise, it will require a lot of their young guys taking a big step, especially offensively.

I can’t decide on if I like Anaheim or not, but I am pretty sure that I don’t. Losing Pronger and Beauchamin hurts a lot, especially since their goalie situation is up in the air and their scoring depth drops considerably after the ridiculous Ryan-Getzlaf-Perry line. The thinking was that Jonas Hiller would be the number 1 goalie, but with the iffy defense and Giguere looking over his should, he may have a hard time establishing a rhythm in net. More than the defense, they will miss Pronger’s offense, especially on the powerplay. They are trying to shed a lot of Brian Burke’s players to become more of a finesse team, which seems like a mistake in the West, where Detroit and San Jose can be pushed around.

Edmonton was close last year and then sputtered at the end, falling out of the playoffs. They have a ton of talented forwards, but, like LA, none are superstar level talents. For whatever reason, they picked up Khabibulin, who was coming off a decent season, considering it was a contract year with a lot to prove. They really need more consistent production from the forwards or one player, but given the use of no-trade clauses to block moves to Edmonton (see: Heatley, Dany), I’m not sure who they could get. New assistant coach Tom Renney should be able to get the team to play a solid defensive structure, but I’m not sure if new head coach Patt Quinn will light a fire under the team’s offense.

I fully expected Minnesota to try to blow their team up this summer, but it didn’t happen. Promising a wide-open style, they hired Sharks assistant Todd Richards. Then, to overhaul their roster, let their Czech, flashy, oft-injured, star rightwinger go, only to turn around and sign a different Czech, flashy, oft-injured, star rightwinger. And that was about the extent of their moves. I don’t know what to expect from this team, since it was mostly built on a defense-first, trap system. They paid Niklas Backstrom big money, but his goaltending resume was built under a system designed to make a goalie look good. I think they could be contention for the playoffs, or they could even be in contention for the division title, but, honestly, I have no clue.

Nashville is always easy to write off, since they lack any flashy forwards, but do so at looking stupid when they actually make the playoffs. The problem is, they play in the Central and I am pretty sure that it is impossible for a division to get all five teams into the playoffs. Move them to any other division and they are definitely in the mix at the end of the season. Barry Trotz made the name for another goaltender – this time it was Pekka Rinne. Playing behind Shea Weber and Ryan Suter doesn’t hurt, and if either of these guys ever ended up on a more noteworthy team, they would be superstars. As good as their starters are, I just don’t see them having enough depth behind that top D pair and top line of Arnott-Sullivan-Dumont.

There is some talk of Dallas being a team to watch, which I don’t really see. They had a ton of injuries last year and once they unloaded Sean Avery, they played better. I still don’t think they were that good and Marty Turco was awful. I’m not really sure why anyone would think he’d be better or how this team could leapfrog a lot of much more talented ones. Then add-in the strange firing of Dave Tippett and hiring of Marc Crawford, who is not exactly known for motivating players.

The battle for the worst team in the league will come down to the Isles, Avs, and Coyotes. The Avs were able to draft the most well-rounded forward, Matt Duchene, who could turn out to be better than Tavares. After going through a strange coaching change – having not fired their coach, but publicly offering the job to others – their management looks really inept. Unloading Ryan Smyth’s contract mad eit clear: they are strictly looking to rebuild and are banking on another top 3 pick.

I’m glad that Jim Balsillie failed in his attempt to buy the Coyotes. I don’t care that he colluded with their a-hole, moronic owner to bankrupt them. I don’t care that he wants to move them to Hamilton, which will cause the Sabres to fail. I just can’t stand the fact that he put U2 in BlackBerry commercials and sponsored their ridiculous tour with a stage that takes 3 days to setup and 3 days to take down (do you think Bono hired workers from impoverished African countries to do that?).   Is there any reason to feel good about this team?  They were on the verge last year, but a lot of their young guys regressed.  I think Dave Tippett is the right coach for them though and could actually rally them around the fact that they are being run by the NHL.  The league’s oversight of the team, combined with its attempts to either purchase them or find a new owner is disturbing, as they have shown a propensity for dumping salary.  Aside from the geographical limitation to the team succeeding (playing in an unsupportive southern market and in a far-flung arena that fans don’t want to go to), you have to wonder how much the owners of the other teams will try to create favorable outcomes for their own teams vis-a-vis the Coyotes.

Interestingly, no one seems to doubt that the Bruins will repeat as Northeast division champs (besides Habs fans).  Losing Kessel’s 36 goals hurts, but I think this team is so deep, it won’t matter.  Bergeron should score more, Sturm will be back for a full season after only playing in about 20 games last year, they have the ageless Recchi for the entirety of the season, Krejci, Lucic, and Wheeler should all improve and they added Derek Morris to upgrade their defensive scoring.  So, yes, there may be a slight dip, but no one else in the Northeast improved enough to take the B’s down.  The only real questions are if they will make a splash, using some of their picks from the Kessel deal to go after an Ilya Kovalchuk and if they matured enough to take the next step.

The Caps, like the B’s, should cruise to a division title.  Everyone knows that they’re going to score.  Add in Mike Knuble, who finally seems to be getting his due as one of the best gritty goal scorers, and their powerplay could be around 25%.  Their goaltending is still questionable and relies on either a rookie, Varlamov, or an enigmatic veteran, Theodore.  Combined with a lack of defensive stoppers, it’s hard to imagine this team making a run at the Cup.

As the Cup champs with the most dynamic forward duo in the league, it’s no surprise that a lot of people see Pittsburgh as a potential repeat champion.  Crosby could become more prolific this season, as he finally has solid linemates in late-season acquisitions Chris Kunitz and Bill Guerin.  Their powerplay will be better with a full season of Sergei Gonchar.  I think that Jay McKee will serve as a reasonable replacement for Rob Scuderi, so they only thing holding them back is the potential Stanley Cup hangover.

I always love it when everyone agrees that a team should be the pick to win, but then goes against that team, claiming that everyone else should have realized this error (resulting in no one actually picking them to win).  Obviously, this would be the Flyers, who now have two shutdown D pairs.  Strangely, they are still operating on the same premise of the Lindros era – rely on your skaters and hope it overcomes goaltending issues.  More so than any other recent seasons, their goaltending is a huge question mark.  Ray Emery was always up-and-down, with one good playoff run to his credit.  Given his mercurial nature, I thought it would have made sense to invest in a solid backup, but they instead went with Brian Boucher, who was run out of town a few years earlier.  This team’s goal is strictly to make a Cup run, but I just wouldn’t trust Emery or the discipline of this thuggish group.

After the top 4, Carolina is probably in the next tier.  The pressure is on Cam Ward to put up consistent seasons and I think he’s the difference between this team challenging Washington for the division and their missing the playoffs altogether.  Obviously Staal is the team’s best player by a wide margin, but they have a ton of forward depth, which makes up for this.  Eric Cole was rejuvenated upon returning to the Canes at the deadline, before crapping out in the playoffs.  His play could also be a huge difference maker for where they finish.

This is where things get fuzzier.  A lot of people love New Jersey, but they lost a few key players – Rupp, Gionta, and Madden – and I really, really do not buy that Brodeur is still an elite goaltender.  If Jacques LeMaire successfully reinstitutes his defensive trap, or some variation thereof, it will make Brodeur’s job easier, but could also hinder the effectiveness of Zach Parise.  Regardless, this team is not as good as the top 4 in the Conference.

No one knows what to make of the Habs, since they come into the season with 1/3 of an entirely new roster and a new, old coach.  This is Carey Price’s make-or-break season, in the last year of his rookie contract.  If he fails to regain some semblance of his rookie year form, I think the fans in Montreal would crucify Bob Gainey for re-signing him.  In essence, it should also be a make-or-break year for Gainey, especially after the total of debacle of their centennial.  The defense in front of Price, particularly the new acquisitions – Gill, Mara, and Spacek – is suspect.  Cammalleri is a scary good goal scorer, but without Iginla on his wing, other teams will focus more defensive attention on him.  Unless Price has a total meltdown, which isn’t out of the realm of possibility, they should eke into the playoffs.

The Sabres looked like a playoff last year, until Ryan Miller got hurt.  Spacek was their top offensive defenseman and they do not have anyone to replace him.  Depending on Miller’s workload at the Olympics, he may not be able to carry them again.

Like so many others, the Senators are hoping that they found an answer in goal, bringing in the oft-injured Pascal Leclaire.  Corey Clouston seemed to change the losing dynamic around this team when he came in late in the season, with the exodus of Dany Heatley being a mixed blessing.  They will miss his goal scoring, but he clashed with Coulston and did not buy into the system.  If they had made the deal with Edmonton, I might have put them higher, but based on the meager return from San Jose, I don’t think they have enough consistent performers.

Why does Glen Sather have a job when nearly 10% of the population is out of work?  Every time I write about the Rangers, I have to mention what a terrible executive Sather is.  I also hate the fact that the Rangers still think they can operate in their pre-cap model of perpetually being rumored as a landing spot for every player in the league.  Sather has continually mismanaged their cap (see the deals for Gaborik, Drury, Gomez, and Redden) while attempting to add more big names.  I will give him credit for going after the best goal scorer on the market, but, even if healthy, how much does Gaborik improve a team that eked into the playoffs last year and has been carried by goalie Henriq Lundquist for years?

The Leafs were tough to play against last season, but their D and especially their goaltending left a lot to be desired.  I think Burke needs another summer to get this team into serious contention, but I wouldn’t be shocked to see them muscle into the postseason give their massive D upgrade.  Gustavsson looks like the real-deal in net, which has to be a huge relief to Leafs’ fans, especially after how brutal The Vesa was in the preseason.  I’m not exactly sure about why Burke was so keen on Kessel – I know he likes American kids who played in the NCAA’s, but Kessel is certainly not truculent and proved in Boston that unless he is being fed by an elite playmaker, he’s only a 20-ish goal scorer (plus he won’t even play until Nov. or Dec.).  Jason Blake looked like his normal self last year with Grabovski and Ponikorovsky both rounding into decent scorers.

Thrashers fans, which are reasonably well-represented on the blogosphere, are decidedly optimistic about their team’s chances.  Like the Leafs, they are deceptively better on offense than most people realize.  Everyone knows about Kovalchuk, but it’s contributions from guys like Bryan Little and newly acquired Nik Antropov that help the forwards corps.  Add in rookie Evander Kane and the contributions from the blue line of Zach Bogosian, Ron Hainsey, and Pavel Kubina, and this could be one of the top offensive teams in the league.  Their problem remains goaltending, which has been inconsistent, given Kari Lehtonen’s inability to stay healthy.  It helps that they play in such a crap division, which could pad their win totals, but unless Lehtonen gives them something, Kovalchuk will likely leave at the end of the season (if not sooner).

You have to love ESPN – they had Tampa at #10 on their first power rankings.  Why they even bother to cover hockey remains a mystery, especially after John Buccigross’ Dany Heatley 3-way trade report.  Any hoo, after not having enough defensemen last year, and getting blasted for it, they went out and added more than a full complement, tampering with and vastly overpaying for Mattias Ohlund.  Marty St. Louis will likely be on the trading block, since LeCavalier’s no-trade clause kicked in over the summer.  No one knows what to expect in net from Mike Smith, who has proven relatively fragile, and they have major depth issues among their forwards.  It would take a major overachievement to make the playoffs.

Give the Panthers credit – they could have dealt away Jay Bouwmeester at the deadline, but they held onto him, in the hopes of making the playoffs.  They fell out of contention in the final games of the season and Bouwmeester left.  They still have a nice group of young forwards and Tomas Voukon, who was very solid in net last year.  There definitely a lack of scoring depth beyond Horton and Booth and the defense is pretty atrocious, being led by Brian McCabe.

There’s no doubt that the Islanders stink, but they at least managed to draft franchise center John Tavares.  Unfortunately for Tavares, likely linemate Kyle Okposo was practically decapitated by Dion Phaneuf in the preseason.  The bigger injury issue is with Rick DiPietro, who still has 12 years remaining on his contract, only played 5 games last season and has no apparent return date.  The good news is that Scott Gordon is one of the best developers of young talent (see: Patrice Bergeron and David Krejci), so Tavares should come along very nicely.

Does anyone believe that the Pats will fail to win the East?  Even without Tom Brady last year the managed to tie for the division.  The offense is even more stacked than when it set a ton of records in 2007, but the spread of weapons is better – better group of backs and TE’s, especially Chris Baker.  The defense remains a question, as it gets progressively younger, particularly after the Seymour trade.  The biggest issues are 3rd down conversion, consistent pressure, and playmaking/turnovers.  In part, the last two rely heavily on what scheme Belichik opts for (4-3 v. 3-4) and how he deploys the players in the schemes.  If they 4-3, expect Adalius Thomas to show better pass-rush skills.  I would also be intrigued to see Vince Wilfork play tackle in the 4-3.  The defensive backfield could be an achilles if Brandon Meriweather is not able to play more physically, filling Rodney Harrison’s role.  Brady looked solid in the preseason, but clearly had his issues, missing blocking assignments and showing an aversion to being hit.  How quickly he can overcome these minor concerns will determine just how good the Pats will be.

The rest of the East is a little murky.  The Dolphins shocked everyone last year, relying on Pennington’s efficient short passing and the Wildcat formation.  By the time they ran into Baltimore in the playoffs, it was clear that the league had caught-on.   They added on defense, in an attempt to compete with Brady and the Pats, but they should definitely take a step back.  Is there a more annoying coach than Rex Ryan?  The guy just can’t help but say stupid shit, even though he’s never won a game as a head coach.  How long before he’s bickering with the NY media?  In his defense, he’s trying to mold the Jets using a classic formula – offense predicated on running and a dynamic, blitz-happy defense.  The problem is that Mark Sanchez has little help at receiver, so teams can load-up against the run.  Plus, his defensive scheme is rather complicated and may take a while to fully implement (assuming the inherited personnel can even run it).  Somehow Dick Jauron survived last season and, unfortunately for him, he now has to deal with TO (and no offensive coordinator!).  Good luck with that.  Lee Evens should be able to emerge as a superstar, as teams will have to focus on Owens more, but without Marshawn Lynch to start the season, the pressure falls on the passing game and their all-new offensive line.  The defense is pretty good, but not good enough against teams like Miami and New England.

The North should be a two-team affair, with the Steelers and Ravens as the class of the division (and among the best of the AFC).  Because the normal AFC frontrunners – Pats, Colts, Bolts – were banged-up, the Steelers relied on their defense and a decent mix of offense to win the Super Bowl.  I still don’t trust Roethlisburger enough to fear him, but the emergence of Santonio Holmes should worry other teams about more than just the running game.  They had issues with health last year, so if those injuries catch-up to this year, it could be difficult to defend.  The Ravens, who will likely make the playoffs, could win this division or could drop-off precipitously.  Rex Ryan took a lot of defensive players with him to NY, but this team has survived turnover before, and now is just elevating subs to starters.  I am curious to see if Joe Flacco’s role is expanded this year, or if they continue to rely on defense and running.  Then you reach the perpetual messes of the Browns and Bengals.  Cleveland replaced Crennel with the guy who studied under him in New England, which means that a shitty defense won’t changing much.  Only TO knows who the starting QB is (huh?), Braylon Edwards drops a billion passes and they traded their pain-in-the-ass, but good catching TE.  The Bengals decided to try to fix their O-line, but the guy they drafted held-out, then showed up overweight, then broke his foot because he was so fat.  They replaced Houshmandzedah with Lavernius Coles, which isn’t a step forward, and Ochocinco is hoping to celebrate his touchdowns via Twitter.  Sounds fun!  Throw in Tank Johnson on D and this team is suddenly Dallas Cowboys crazy.

Do the Titans win the South by default?  At present, they look like the most stable team, which says a lot considering they still have Vince Young on their roster.  They were a lot like Pittsburgh and Baltimore – relying on the running game and a physical defensive front.  Losing Albert Haynesworth was huge, but they have enough quality among their D-Line and linebackers to cruise in this division.  The Colts took a big step backwards last year, mostly due to injuries, but then had an uncharacteristically turbulent offseason, with the coaching staff turnover.  Tom Moore’s semi-retirement will hurt Peyton, but he’s enough of a veteran and they so many weapons that it shouldn’t hurt too much.  The biggest issue the level of discontent with new coach Jim Caldwell, who has alienated a lot of people in the organization.  Their defense was shaky last year, so there is extra pressure on Manning to carry the load.  The Texans have been listed as a potential sleeper ever since acquiring Matt Schaub, but have never lived up to the hype.  Schaub’s health has been a major factor in their inability to make the playoffs, despite being pretty loaded.  Depending on the Colts and Titans, this could finally be the year they make the Wild Card.  The Jags are in a strange place, because most of the players seem to loathe Jack del Rio.  I’m not sure that they can right their ship, in a reasonably tough division, until he’s gone.  David Garrard finally has a real receiver to throw to, a washed-up Tori Holt, which should help their offense, but won’t make much of a difference in their order of finish.

Like last year, the Chargers win the West, because everyone else stinks.  San Diego suffered through a lot of injuries and the inconsistent play of Tomlinson, who has fallen off very rapidly.  I think they missed their chance to trade him for reasonable valuable, but they at least still have Sproles to pick-up the slack.  If they remain healthy and if Tomlinson returns to 3/4′s of his former self, they could jump into the group of top teams in the AFC.  I’m not even sure who the next best team in this division is.  I’ll say Denver, simply because, in spite of Josh McDaniel’s inability to manage his players, I think they have the best offense.  Kyle Orton finally has a chance to prove that he’s a capable QB and if Brandon Marshall is happy, with the latest saying he wants an extension, Orton could prove to be among the elite in the league.  A month ago I might have picked the Chiefs, but with the firing of their offensive coordinator and the injury to Cassell, they could be in big trouble.  There was an understandable amount of turnover on their roster, so it might take a few seasons to see improvement.  The Raiders remain a mess, with an out-of-shape, semi-crappy QB and athe perpetual bickering of the coach and front-office.  If Richard Seymour decides to show up, they could have a decent defense.  Realistically, the Chiefs and Raiders are battling for better draft position.

It began with the much maligned Larry Brooks suggesting that the Rangers could do the Bruins a favor by taking Marc Savard and his $5 million salary off their hands.  Brooks must spend too much time reading HFboards, since he seemed to think that a top-5 assist man would be available for Brandon Dubinsky.  In essence, Brooks is talking like a retard fan – “we have the goal scorer (Gaborik), all we need is the setup man!”  Under Brooks’s harried logic, the Bruins should actually being trying to acquire Ovechkin to take feeds on Savard’s wing.  If unsigned Dubinsky yields Savard, then Ovechkin could be had for Dennis Wideman (a respectable player, but nowhere near the level of the other guy).

Then last week, as Phil Kessel’s contract dispute lingers, it was suggested by another Post writer that the Rangers and Devils need to hurry up and try to acquire him – either by trade or by extending an offer sheet.  As the article notes though, the Devils have never expressed any interest in Kessel, but they need to dammit!  Unlike the Rangers, the Devils could fit Kessel under the cap, but for some reason, Mark Everson is wholly convinced that Kessel is a top-line center (ignoring those two failed seasons as a center in Boston).  Unlike the Rangers, the Devils don’t really have a need there, with Travis Zajac filling that role.  Everson’s line of thinking is clear – “Kessel > Zajac” – except for the flawed premise of Kessel not actually being a center.  He would certainly be an upgrade on the rightwing of Zajac and Parise, but his lax defensive play and lack of physicality would certainly not endear him to the New Jersey’s new coach – neutral zone trap master Jacques Lemaire.  However, Everson is mostly talking-up Kessel as the missing piece for the Rangers, seeing him as a Gaborik’s center and even touting his *ahem* “defensive skills.”  Forget the boneheaded wrongness of those assumptions, since Everson never considers that the Rangers have about $1 million in free cap space, still have to sign Brandon Dubinksy, who will likely get around $3-4 million, and that the Rangers lack the necessary draft picks that would have to be ceded to the B’s if Kessel chose to play in MSG.  This barrage of nonsense must be bitterness resulting from Boston’s hosting this year’s Winter Classic (even though we all know next year’s will be in Yankee Stadium).

Equally brilliant is The Ballad of G.I. Joe – after the jump – composed by Daniel Strange and Kevin Umrbicht.  Hilarious, with great celebrity casting.  Who wouldn’t rather see Henry Rollins kicking ass as Duke, as opposed to that sissy dancer guy?